Why you're here, in case you didn't know
     
     
We have someone over here in Finance who is quite the piece of work.    I actually just heard her bitch about the email stating that we will be getting our bonuses this year     ("..well, it didn't say HOW MUCH of a bonus we were getting..").

That takes talent.    To be able to wring misery out of good news is quite a skill.

     
Quotes and inside jokes
  • Don't be a martyr.    Think about it.    How often do you read about martyrs in the news?    How often do you read about mass murders?    I say, let the slayings begin...then at least you'll be able to sit down while being fried.

  • Real quick - did you know that if you have sourdough rolls you haven't eaten for awhile, and you throw them - they'll explode on impact?

  • You fix things - I sum things up.

  • We're like two stoners, only we're not high.

  • I make things go.

  • Well, I'm sure you have been getting lucky...

  • Hi, the Put-in-Bay police sent us.

  • You HAVE TO GET A ROOM...

  • You're a Taurus.    I'm a Taurus, and so were two of my former daughters-in-law.    But they were nuts, so I'm not sure that's a good thing.

  • If we were nuked today, I can honestly say you are the best lover I've ever known.    But then we'd be dead so it wouldn't matter much.

  • They're kinda like thought orbits.    They go out, and sometimes they take awhile, but eventually they come back.

  • I like 'em that size.

  • They only way you could ruin sex is by not showing up.

  • Channeling Yoda while drinking a Soda.
    Morning is good for Yoga, but not wearing a Toga.
    Bad are your puns, but good are chocolate covered buns.
    You know what I mean, my thoughts are not clean.
    I feel like Dr. Seuss and I should not be on the loose.

  • Every second man in England is gay and the first doesn't know how to kiss.

  • I'm pleasantly disgusted by that.